Grumps

I am sure that there are things in life that give you the grumps? 

For instance those wrappers on food packets that are supposed to peel off easily. Or the tag/pin that says pull, which you do and then it snaps off. So you result to out-of-the-box methods that you are told you should only do in emergencies, like using a hammer or your teeth (or in my case) dentures to hack off bits. And no I don’t take them out otherwise that would be gumming the offending item to bits!

You are so delighted when a tiny hole appears only to find that the product is double wrapped. What the dickens is that about? I thought we were supposed to be cutting down on packaging!

So in order to stop that grump from happening here are some ways to open a wrapper.

1. For a wrapper with jagged teeth (I thought that was only me) make sure you are not anywhere near the teeth or they will bite you.

 

2. For a wrapper with an attached tag. Get a pair of scissors and cut the other end.

 

3. For perforated wrappers. Don’t bother.

 

4. For a wrapper with a fold. Unfold and watch the kids go crazy trying to open them.

 

5. For a wrapper with a lip, such as tins. Shake up and down and use as castanets.

 

6. For a wrapper that thinks rapping is a form of singing give them a chill pill and suggest they listen to Cliff Richard instead.

 

7. For a wrapper with an extra wrapping. See a doctor it might be contagious.

 

8. For a persistent wrapper dial the emergency services.

 

I think that covers the lot. Alternatively if you cannot be fussed ask a responsible adult for help. It there is not one available go and have a lie down.

As well as annoying wrappers there are offending fruits that are stubborn too. Take the skin of a banana, it is a pain to crack open. A banana you have to wrestle with, desperately fighting it into submission. Using a brainbuster can help.

For those that don’t know what a brainbuster is glance at the picture (I thought mine was bust years ago but what do I know). Don’t look too long as those men are only wearing their pants.

If you want to know how to do this move with your banana I shall take a few lines to describe what injury you can inflict on it.  A brainbuster is a professional wrestling throw in which a wrestler puts their opponent in a front facelock, hooks their pants or thigh, and lifts them up as if executing a vertical suplex. The wrestler then falls onto their back so that the opponent lands on their head while remaining vertical.

Well that appears simple enough thank you Wikipedia.

So next time you want to extricate the delicious contents of your banana and it is refusing to give up its fruit, do the brainbuster.

By the way no bananas were hurt during the writing of this blog.

Grump over.