3. Brawny and Flap and the case of the shopping trolley mishap.
I hate shopping, it seems to come round too often. Each week I make a list and usually forget to take it. (Suffering grocery lists Brawny, it isn’t that weekly plod around the supermarket again is it? Afraid so Flap. Chronic allergies Brawny, you know I come out in a rash each time we go. I know Flap, but you will have to grin and bare it like I do. ‘Man it up’ as it says in the Super hero’s survival manual.) https://margaretkazblog.wordpress.com/blogs/
With purse and bags I lock the front door, get into my car and drive to the oversized shop that eats your money before your very eyes. As I park, between two bays, as I like my cushion of comfort, I hear a commotion in the back of the car. (Hysterical outbursts Brawny, I am not going to set foot inside that monster again. Flap, stop overreacting and pull yourself together. Pushy older superhero’s, if I have a panic attack I shall blame you Brawny.)
Trolley’s and I very rarely see eye to eye and today I have managed to pick the most obstreperous one of all. (Contorted metal beast Brawny, I am going to sit in the child’s seat and keep well out of the way. Sounds like a good idea Flap, but keep your elbows in. I shall be the front guard.)
Now one thing I do not understand is why the fresh fruit is always at the beginning of the shop. Why would you want to place delicate items at the bottom of your trolley? (Toxic tomatoes Brawny she is going fresh, you know I can’t stand food that is good for you. Blistering bananas, it touched me. Brawny help me. Calm down Flap or you will overturn the trolley. Caustic cabbage Brawny I have to get out now. You are rocking the contraption Flap, stop it now before we crash…)
I don’t believe it the trolley’s wheels have buckled and embarrassingly I and another customer are locked tight in a grip that has both of us squirming on the shop floor. My fresh fruit is now rolling around freely. (Stupendous slip ups Brawny, I can see an accident in the making. Quick Flap we need to do something. Ripping retreats Brawny I am off, the fresh stuff is too close for my liking. Flap this is no time to disappear.) The manager appears from around the corner wondering what the commotion is all about. He approaches the older lady first to see if she is alright. An account of what happened comes at great length which infers that I am a mad crazed woman who should not be allowed anywhere near anything that moves. I get myself to my feet and (Slippery solutions Brawny that is not a wise thing to do) watch as a stand with cereal packets piled high suddenly nose dives onto the manager who is bent over patting the hand of the overwrought lady. (It was all I could think of at a moments notice Flap. Lightening exits Brawny I think we need to beat a hasty retreat.I am with you there Flap.)
Apologizing profusely I decide to terminate my trip to the supermarket. With remnants of tomato and banana stuck to my bottom I walk away in as dignified a manner as I can. (Biff, baff, boff Brawny I think we had better keep a low profile for a while. Flap I do believe you might be right.)